Yes, It HAS Been Forever!

I'm so tired. So exhausted. Brent cut his finger back in December....with his pocket knife. Careless accident. Long story short, he never healed right and he was not able to use his finger. Well, finally, months later, he decided to go have it operated on. Well, that's been 3 weeks ago. He's still splinted up and told not to use his entire hand until they give him the go ahead. He goes to physical therapy and is still on meds that will help him keep from developing an infection. Changing every single diaper, bathing, drying, dressing, putting shoes on, cooking for, cleaning up after.....two toddlers for 12+ hours a day.....and battling naps and bedtimes......I'm beat. Beat. I'll be so darn glad when he can help me again.....even if it is for only 3 hours a day.

Dreams

I love dreams. I have them frequently, when I sleep, ahem, when the girls allow me to sleep for long stretches. Last night I dreamed that an old friend, Courtney, was getting married....last time I dreamed that, she was indeed getting married and had a precious baby boy soon after---so Court, are you pregnant again?!? Anyhow, it was such a FUN dream. Lots of old friends, like Tanner, Natali, Lilly, Toby, Alex, Kaylee, Brooklynn,  Mo, Chase, Jesika and Jase were in there....along with Brenlee and Cadence. It was loads of fun having all the kids together and watching Courtney get married, sorta Grand Ol' Opry Style! Last night I had three dreams. I don't remember if they were all related, but the part I most vividly remember was opening a gift that was from Kayleigh. Kayleigh is the name that I had picked out if our first baby (that I miscarried) would have been a girl. It was a soft blanket. I remember hugging the blanket and it felt so soft and smelled so sweet. I'm praying LOTS more lately, and I take it that this dream was reassurance that she's up in heaven and smiling down on us, as comfortable as can be. I'm so fortunate to have her to look forward to meeting one day. Thank you, Jesus! 

Time for Change....

Hi everyone! It feels like it's been an eternity since I last posted! I made a commitment to myself to spend LESS time online and MORE time playing with Brenlee and Cadence. It's the BEST decision ever for me, but unfortunately, not for those of you out of towners who log on daily/hourly to see updates on the girls. I'm reading the book, Live a Thousand Years by Giovanni Livera. It's taking me a while to read it, as I am living it...and I can only change so much at any given moment! Here are the things I've taken from the book so far:
1. Your time is NOW. Don't dwell on the past and don't worry a whole lot about tomorrow.

2. I must take care of myself physically, spiritually, and mentally----The longer I live, the more opportunities I have to gain experience. I am changing my thoughts of feeling like I "have" to do things, to I "get" to do things. Everything I do is worth enjoying.

3. No matter where I am in my life, I have two options. The negative one and the positive one and once I start making positive choices with a positive attitude, this life journey becomes easier. This even reads true to feeding time with the girls!!!! (Which was not fun at all about a  month ago!) 

4. I can share my Treasures, my Talent and my Time. I can measure success by what I give rather than what I have. 

5. With strong Faith in God, all of my relationships with grow. I've always felt that all things happen for a reason and now I'm understanding that  the people we let into our lives become a part of us, they make us who we are. Livera writes, "Four relationships to cherish and kindle are you creator, your family, your friends, and your fellow man." So, I'm going to invest time into relationships that are important to me.

I'm about half way through the book.....and my dad couldn't have gifted this book to me at any better time.....refer back to the 5th lesson learned.....it came into my life at just the right moment for a reason! 

As most of my close family and friends know, it has been very challenging the past year. There have been days that I just want to give up and send my girls to daycare and go back to work. Work was much easier. Along with financial stress of dropping my income and adding the expense of two babies, I've come very, very close. About a month ago, before I started reading this book,  I started applying for jobs. Teaching, daycare positions, work-from-home jobs, etc. I've been crunching numbers and freaking out about going in the hole financially. Then it hit me. I will NEVER get this time back. EVER. Once it's gone, it's gone. The girls are growing up at an exponential rate and will start Kindergarten in just 4 more years. If we opt for Pre-Kindergarten, then I just have 3 more precious years with them at home with me. I will do what I have to do and everything does happen for a reason. It won't kill me to put the girls into a day program and go back to work and if that's what God has planned, I'll go at it with a positive attitude....but so far, no door has been opened up in the realm of a job for me. So, I'm feeling comforted knowing that He will provide for our family as long as I accept and trust Him. 

Refer back to the 5th thing I learned, again. Brent started a new job back in August 2011.  Well, one of his close coworkers invited us to go to his church this weekend. We've been looking for a home church for a long time now. We had just decided to go back to a church that we attended when we first moved to Irving, although we didn't just love the pastor when we were attending. Remember how people are put into your life at just the right time? I'm looking forward to it, it's on Saturday evening. They provide Nursery care/School for Brenlee and Cadence, as well. It'll be their 1st time being in the hands of complete strangers without Momma or Daddy around. Yes, I'm a bit nervous, and please pray with me that it goes smoothly. They will get to sing, dance, praise and worship, play instruments, do bible lessons, and make new friends while Brent and I get to draw closer to God together though sermons. 

The girls will be waking soon from their morning nap, and the house is still a HUGE mess....it's an obstacle course of pillow pets, blocks, books and other random toys that they love to string though out the hallway! BUT I sure ain't gonna clean while they're awake, as that'd be a WASTE of precious time! Bahaha......ya'll know I hate cleaning, so this book gives me a reason not to feel so guilty about a messy house! Oh, and the Banana Nut/ Blueberry Bread I'm baking is smelling done!

Stay tuned for more blogs about the work God does in our lives!

Question for you:
How do you make the most of your time???