Dreams

I love dreams. I have them frequently, when I sleep, ahem, when the girls allow me to sleep for long stretches. Last night I dreamed that an old friend, Courtney, was getting married....last time I dreamed that, she was indeed getting married and had a precious baby boy soon after---so Court, are you pregnant again?!? Anyhow, it was such a FUN dream. Lots of old friends, like Tanner, Natali, Lilly, Toby, Alex, Kaylee, Brooklynn,  Mo, Chase, Jesika and Jase were in there....along with Brenlee and Cadence. It was loads of fun having all the kids together and watching Courtney get married, sorta Grand Ol' Opry Style! Last night I had three dreams. I don't remember if they were all related, but the part I most vividly remember was opening a gift that was from Kayleigh. Kayleigh is the name that I had picked out if our first baby (that I miscarried) would have been a girl. It was a soft blanket. I remember hugging the blanket and it felt so soft and smelled so sweet. I'm praying LOTS more lately, and I take it that this dream was reassurance that she's up in heaven and smiling down on us, as comfortable as can be. I'm so fortunate to have her to look forward to meeting one day. Thank you, Jesus! 

Time for Change....

Hi everyone! It feels like it's been an eternity since I last posted! I made a commitment to myself to spend LESS time online and MORE time playing with Brenlee and Cadence. It's the BEST decision ever for me, but unfortunately, not for those of you out of towners who log on daily/hourly to see updates on the girls. I'm reading the book, Live a Thousand Years by Giovanni Livera. It's taking me a while to read it, as I am living it...and I can only change so much at any given moment! Here are the things I've taken from the book so far:
1. Your time is NOW. Don't dwell on the past and don't worry a whole lot about tomorrow.

2. I must take care of myself physically, spiritually, and mentally----The longer I live, the more opportunities I have to gain experience. I am changing my thoughts of feeling like I "have" to do things, to I "get" to do things. Everything I do is worth enjoying.

3. No matter where I am in my life, I have two options. The negative one and the positive one and once I start making positive choices with a positive attitude, this life journey becomes easier. This even reads true to feeding time with the girls!!!! (Which was not fun at all about a  month ago!) 

4. I can share my Treasures, my Talent and my Time. I can measure success by what I give rather than what I have. 

5. With strong Faith in God, all of my relationships with grow. I've always felt that all things happen for a reason and now I'm understanding that  the people we let into our lives become a part of us, they make us who we are. Livera writes, "Four relationships to cherish and kindle are you creator, your family, your friends, and your fellow man." So, I'm going to invest time into relationships that are important to me.

I'm about half way through the book.....and my dad couldn't have gifted this book to me at any better time.....refer back to the 5th lesson learned.....it came into my life at just the right moment for a reason! 

As most of my close family and friends know, it has been very challenging the past year. There have been days that I just want to give up and send my girls to daycare and go back to work. Work was much easier. Along with financial stress of dropping my income and adding the expense of two babies, I've come very, very close. About a month ago, before I started reading this book,  I started applying for jobs. Teaching, daycare positions, work-from-home jobs, etc. I've been crunching numbers and freaking out about going in the hole financially. Then it hit me. I will NEVER get this time back. EVER. Once it's gone, it's gone. The girls are growing up at an exponential rate and will start Kindergarten in just 4 more years. If we opt for Pre-Kindergarten, then I just have 3 more precious years with them at home with me. I will do what I have to do and everything does happen for a reason. It won't kill me to put the girls into a day program and go back to work and if that's what God has planned, I'll go at it with a positive attitude....but so far, no door has been opened up in the realm of a job for me. So, I'm feeling comforted knowing that He will provide for our family as long as I accept and trust Him. 

Refer back to the 5th thing I learned, again. Brent started a new job back in August 2011.  Well, one of his close coworkers invited us to go to his church this weekend. We've been looking for a home church for a long time now. We had just decided to go back to a church that we attended when we first moved to Irving, although we didn't just love the pastor when we were attending. Remember how people are put into your life at just the right time? I'm looking forward to it, it's on Saturday evening. They provide Nursery care/School for Brenlee and Cadence, as well. It'll be their 1st time being in the hands of complete strangers without Momma or Daddy around. Yes, I'm a bit nervous, and please pray with me that it goes smoothly. They will get to sing, dance, praise and worship, play instruments, do bible lessons, and make new friends while Brent and I get to draw closer to God together though sermons. 

The girls will be waking soon from their morning nap, and the house is still a HUGE mess....it's an obstacle course of pillow pets, blocks, books and other random toys that they love to string though out the hallway! BUT I sure ain't gonna clean while they're awake, as that'd be a WASTE of precious time! Bahaha......ya'll know I hate cleaning, so this book gives me a reason not to feel so guilty about a messy house! Oh, and the Banana Nut/ Blueberry Bread I'm baking is smelling done!

Stay tuned for more blogs about the work God does in our lives!

Question for you:
How do you make the most of your time???

Dear Sylvia Brown Wanna-be.........

You need not offer unsolicited advice to Walmart Customers. Your frazzled hair and knit pants make you out to be a Quack. If I really wanted to know your opinion about the future health of my twins, I would have asked you.  You mentioned that you used to be a 1st grade school teacher--and I'm glad that was in PAST tense....those babies don't need people like you in their precious lives. I look at horoscopes and astrology as entertainment, maybe once or twice a year. I don't need a lesson on it. Oh, and if my baby girls are chewing on the cart while I'm busy, I see it as building immunity and dislike you telling me that she shouldn't do that. And Brenlee's "B, U, M, P" will disappear and she will not have to have surgery when she is 4, my cousin Amy had one.....HAD one. HAD one...yes, once again, past tense. That is all.
Sincerely,
Brenlee and Cadence's Momma

What a TRIP!

For the past 14 months we planned on going to Jennings, LA for Thanksgiving. It started to become somewhat of a tradition before we had the twins and we want to keep fostering it. The Cajuns do Thanksgiving a little different.....including Rice Dressing. We enjoy all the different foods when we visit. Last year, I didn't feel safe traveling far from my hospital since I was BIG and pregnant, so we missed it. This year, we envisioned the twins be-bopping around Aunt Darla and Uncle Boyd's house all year long. Well, right before the trip, I got a horrid kidney/bladder/yeast infection. The doctors prescribed me one antibiotic that was later discontinued since the culture that was sent off to the labs proved that the bacteria I was harvesting was resistant to it. My back ached, my head throbbed, my bladder burned and I certainly didn't feel up for a 7 hour drive. Tuesday rolled around and I canceled our plans, as bad as I hated to. There was just NO way I could get there AND take care of little ones on the way. Well, if you know those people, you know that they pray. If you know me, you know I do, too. We did lots of praying and hoping and wishing....and low and behold, I woke up Wednesday morning feeling LOADS better. By noon, I felt almost like myself again. Brent got off work early and I talked him into letting us go, even though we'd already canceled. We got everything packed and ready within an hour and left! The trip there was awesome. Brenlee and Cadence giggled and played around in the back seat before drifting off to sleep. I enjoyed reading "I'll Be There" by Deborah Grace Staley and enjoyed every single minute of it. The weather was delightful and the road was just bumpy enough to keep the girls sleeping for the majority of the drive. We arrived in Jennings at 10pm. Darla and Boyd and Brad are some of the most hospitable people I have ever met. Somehow they make their home feel like our home. They're just naturals. The twins slept like logs every night and slumbered away hours for naps, as well. It was a blessing for Brenlee and Cadence to visit with their cousins, too. Bradly, Breiana, Ashton, and our "cousins" Daidyn, Dustin and Dylan Mallet. The Mallets are great friends of the Becks there in Jennings and we're happy to call them "family." I captured some videos of the all the kids playing together, but even those will not show the essence of the love that filled the air. Some of my favorite moments were:  

• Watching Bradlyn chase Cadence around and through the hallway saying, "I'm gonna getchoooo!"  She has a raspy/sultry voice and such a sweet southern accent. When she smiles, she has dimples that adorn her smile. Who wouldn't LOVE to be chased around by her??
• Coloring with Breiana. This is almost always a highlight of my time in Jennings. I miss coloring. Soon enough, I know, I'll have the opportunity to color with the twins.
• Getting neck rubs by Ashton. He may be just a small boy, but he can give one heck of a neck massage! He has such a sweet and tender side under that facade he usually portrays. 
• Sitting around the dinner table eating and talking with Darla, Boyd, Brad and Brent. They reminisced and told stories and the part I love most about this is that I've been around long enough to have stories :) 
• Going to their Snow Cone stand. If you could capture the smell that you smell when you walk into it, I'd buy it. Just something happy about the sound of ice grinding and watching the sweet "ambrosia" syrup poured over it.......yummy! I still stuck with my usual, Strawberry Cheesecake with Cream. 

I could list many more things that were just perfect, I guess I'll save that for another blog! We stayed in Louisiana for a mere 2.5 days and 3 nights and made memories that will last a life time. I didn't look forward to coming home, just yet. I love our home away from home in Jennings and look forward to next year already! Now that this big celebration is over, it's time to start planning the next one. CHRISTMAS!! We will be staying home this year, for sure. December is full of festivities, smells, sounds and the splendor of Christ and it's so special. The girls 1st Christmas. What blessings we have in store, O God, I am thankful. Well, time for bed....actually past time.....I hope you and yours had a wonderful Thanksgiving!!!

A Past Due Letter-

Dear Cadence,
Baby girl, you are growing up so fast. Just 9 months ago all you did was eat and sleep.....and cry. Now, you are standing on your own two feet, walking and babbling. You are very strong physically. You decided to start crawling right before you turned 6 months old. You did what we called the "Walrus." You would get up on all fours and lunge yourself forward and do a belly flop. It got you where you wanted to go and that's all that mattered to you! It also made an interesting afternoon for those around watching you.  After watching your sister, Brenlee, do a standard crawl, you decided to change your style. The day before you turned 9 months old, you took your first steps. Now, at 9 1/2 months old, you are zipping across rooms, zooming down the hall and doing pivots! You amaze me little one! You are starting to express yourself with sounds, too. Sha, sha, sha, ta, ta, ta, ma,ma,ma, bwa, bwa, bwa, and da,da,da are your favorite things to say. I love how you play with your fingers as you are walking and the jibber jabber you mumble to yourself while on the go. You are very smart and stay ahead of the game in all you do. You are strong and God has given you the gift of determination and perserverance; it shows even at the tender age of 9 months. One of my favorite things to do with you is snuggle in bed. You wake up before Brenlee a lot of the time and I enjoy our one on one time. You give slobbery, affectionate, open-mouthed kisses and smile as big as you can when I kiss you back. One of your favorite things to do is swing by your arms. You squeal with delight at the first thought of flying through the air! Many times you get the whole family laughing during your episodes of hysteria, your laughter is contagious.  I'm very blessed that the Lord trusts me with you. It's an honor to be your momma. I Love you my baby Cade......love you with all my heart and soul.

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They belong to the Kingdom.

Jesus said, "Don't stop children from coming to me! Children like these are part of the kingdom of God."-Matthew 19:14

Thank you, Jesus, for allowing me to love and care for two of your greatest miracles unconditionally. 

30 Days of Thanksgiving

So, I saw that everyone was posting on Facebook what they are thankful for and most of them doing a sort of "30 Days" type thing. Well, I'm in. I have so much to be thankful for and this is a great way to keep me fervent in my thanksgiving to Jesus.


November 1- I'm thankful that my husband makes the best sweet tea. Sounds silly, but I love sweet tea, a lot. If you are a tea drinker, you've got to try his. It rocks.


November 2- I'm thankful that I have two beautiful, healthy children. My heart aches for those who are/or have had children whose lives have been taken by cancer or other illnesses.


November 3- I'm thankful for my education. I'm literate. I'm thankful that I'll be able to educate my girls and instill the value of literacy into them---starting NOW :) I love going to the library with Brenlee and Cadence and they always seem to enjoy it, too. Very powerful I am in their lives....wow.


November 4- Faith. I'm thankful that my Momma and Nanny Fran taught me all about it. Faith is believing, without seeing. Faith is a pulling in my heart that is constantly reminding me that there is a God and that Jesus is here with me always. Faith can move mountains. Faith can bring happiness. Faith is knowing that God answered my prayer when I asked for a beautiful, healthy, strong, smart, courageous child. Faith is knowing that He provided me with TWO. Thank you, for faith.


November 5- I am thankful that I'm able to stay home with my girls. I get to watch them grow second by second. I can't imagine my life any differently.


November 6- My sister. Randi. I don't have enough words to express my gratitude for her. She is easy to talk to, always there to listen and I enjoy hearing about her life, too. She's been the biggest help to me since the twins came into our lives. Aunt Randi will be a "favorite" for the girls and that is exciting to me! 


November 7-I'm thankful for 4 sets of grandparents. It's somewhat of a blessing in disguise that comes with having divorced parents. 4 sets of grandparents, means quadruple the love for Brenlee and Cadence. My girls will know what love is, that is for sure!


November 8- Water. Yes, I can just go to my faucet and drink some water....or buy a few bottles at the grocery store. Some are not that fortunate! I'm thankful to live in a country that I don't have to worry about contaminated water.


November 9-Be thankful, even as you are going thru a time that you don't feel too thankful. Brenlee is screaming in the other room, fighting a nap......I hate to hear her cry. BUT I'm thankful that she is learning to sleep on her own. My cousin, Amy, says that sleep deprivation haunted her for MANY years. I don't want that. I'm thankful that she supports my decision to "teach" the girls how to sleep.


November 10- I'm thankful for Mexican food. I love the combination of tomato, cilantro, onion and peppers. 


11/11/11- I'm thankful for the Veterans that served our country. Selfless, to say the least. 


11/12/11- I'm thankful for free time with Brent. Every now and then it is nice to just relax, like old times, with him. Of course, we talk about Brenlee and Cadence almost the whole time!!!


11/13/11- I'm thankful for Charlie, our next door neighbor. I know that if I ever need anything, and I mean anything, that he'd be there for us. Tonight he brought us over some Pecan Pie and it was the best one I've ever had. This week, I'm making him some Blueberry Pizza to return the generosity.


11/14/11- Squeals and giggles from Brenlee and Cadence. As I'm sitting here typing this blog, I can hear the girls in the hallway squealing and giggling with each other. When I peek around the corner, they stop to look at me, so I'd rather just sit back in a dark corner and listen to their sweet serenade. 


11/15/11- I'm thankful that I have a hard-working hubby. Brent is the provider for our family and without him, there is NO way I'd be able to stay at home with my babies....


11/16/11-If you add up all the numbers in today's date (1+1+1+6+1+1) you get 11....and we are in the 11th month. I'm thankful for my mind. Although it's not as sharp feeling as it once was, I'm grateful to be able to think for myself. Did you know that women who give birth to twins, or other higher order multiples, use more of their brains than that of the average person?! So, there you have it.....I'm thankful for my mind :)


11/17/11-I'm thankful that God only gave me twins, and not more.


11/18/11-I'm thankful that we have a warm, nice home. 


11/19/11-So very thankful for modern medicine.


11/20/11-Got to go to the Sunday matinee to watch Breaking Dawn, thanks to my Momma who kept the girls.....and not to mention, did all my laundry!


11/21/11- I'm thankful for my crock pot. Lunch/supper pretty much cooked itself.


11/22/11-For internet and technology. Without it, I don't know what life would be like!


11/23/11-I'm thankful that my girls have been taking naps this week. They've done wonderfully going to sleep on their own without crying!


11/24/11-I'm thankful that Brenlee and Cadence have become great road travelers. They make a 7 hour trip with absolutely no problems.


11/25/11-I'm thankful for Brent's family, who have become mine. 


11/26/11-I'm thankful for sleep. I never really appreciate sleep until I lack it. Thank you beautiful baby girls for allowing us to sleep 12 hour nights.


11/27/11- I'm thankful for our ability to buy groceries. A lady approached us in the grocery store parking lot with a sob story about how she needed to get back home to San Antonio and didn't have the money. While I didn't buy the story, ( as she was dressed nicer than me and driving an Expedition) it did make me thankful that I don't have to worry about finances. 


11/28/11-I'm thankful for warm, cozy blankets. I have so many quilts that were made by Nanny Fran and afghans that were crocheted by my mom and Randi. I love snuggling up in them during the cold, winter months.


11/29/11-I'm thankful for the past 10 months. I simply can't believe that the girls are already 10 months old.....some days were long, but the months have been short. Happy 10 months baby girls!


11/30/11-I'm thankful for our climate here in Texas. Yeah, maybe I'm nuts, but I like that I can still go outside without a jacket....and in flip flops! That said, I wouldn't mind seeing some snow this winter! ;)