8 Weeks.

The days are long, but the weeks are short. This statement is resounding truth for me since January 29, 2011! Last Friday, one day before the twins were 8 weeks old, was (by far) the most stressful day we've encountered. We've had bouts of problems with their tummies since they were born and thought we'd found the solution to our problems, but NO! The Similac Sensitive formula was causing all sorts of gas and we were still having to give the girls Karo syrup EVERYDAY and at least an ounce of prune juice. I gave it several weeks to see if things would get better, but they didn't. The gas was causing them anguish. They would wail every time they'd need to pass it and it was happened at least 10 times every hour....that's 20 farts an hour......that's hours upon hours of screaming, whimpering, crying, snubbing. They wouldn't stay asleep very well, either. Guess what woke them up....a rumbling tummy. Brent and I learned how to do the "I Love You" tummy massage, which did calm them and help them, but I was having to do that ALL day long. This is not what I bargained for. Some would say that with children, you never get what you bargain for, but I beg to differ. I've been asking God for children for 3+ years now. I asked specifically for happy babies. God does know the desires of my heart and I believe that He grants us those desires when we ask. As of Tuesday, March 22, I was tired of it. Tired of thinking, "If they're awake, they're crying." Tired of dreading the girls to wake up. I prayed, again, telling God that I wasn't happy with how things were going. Amy Grant sings a song, Better than a Hallelujah. The initial lyric is this: "God loves a lullaby
In a mother's tears in the dead of night
Better than a Hallelujah sometimes."I took comfort in those lyrics, knowing that my tears are like a melody to God's ears. That same day, both Brenlee and Cadence smiled several times. Grant it, it may be followed by wailing cries, but I celebrate the small stuff! Thursday, when both girls were inconsolable, I researched some more formulas. This would be the 5th different thing to try. I had been avoiding trying the Similac Alimentum because it's priced as liquid gold. $25 a can. At the rate they are eating this week, that's $75 a week. Again, this caused me to be upset that I couldn't breastfeed. Anyhow, our last ditch effort, Brent went after work Thursday and picked some up. I had read that it smelled worse and some babies didn't prefer the taste, so we were prepared. To our surprise, both girls gulped it down and wanted more! Well, Friday, however, I guess with the adjustment to the new formula and many other factors, the girls both screamed bloody murder for a grand total of 3 hours and 20 minutes. Cadence threw up everywhere from her state of hysteria and Brenlee was sweating head to toe. I was helpless and so were they. My mom came over during her lunch hour. I had both girls on me in the recliner asleep. I hadn't eaten or taken a drink of anything since before 8am, it was now 3:30pm. She gave Cadence another bottle, since the last one didn't stay down and laid her down to nap. I kept wearing Brenlee in my Moby to comfort her. The day was so long. I'm not even going to take the time to explain all the techniques I tried that day to console them, that'd be a blog in itself. Well, I reminded myself that it could take a few days-up to a week-to notice a change in the girls on the new formula. It happened. Saturday, the girls would sit in their swings and just look around for 1/2 an hour to an hour at a time. They were awake, not crying! We still had crying during pooping, but I can handle that. I'm just glad they are! (We haven't given prune juice or Karo since Thursday, either.) Saturday evening we decided that we'd lay the girls in the nursery to sleep that night. They'd been sleeping in a crib in our room. We set them up a laptop and attached some speakers to it. I purchased several white noise cd's off of Amazon and downloaded them. We set the mood in the room and things looked/sounded so great.  Low and behold, they did excellent. Brenlee sleep consistently for 4 hour stretches. She'd *almost* get  worked up, but we were able to keep her calm and she'd go right back to sleep. Cadence did the same thing! They didn't wake at the same time, either. This is something that I have been wanting to happen--since I've found that with them, it's mere impossible to keep them both happy and fed coincidingly. Sunday morning, we all woke up at 9:00am. Brenlee cooed and smiled at me for 30 minutes as I sat and chatted with her. She ate and then I put her in her swing and she fell asleep! I am so thankful and know that God has sent angels to be here with me and girls. They are comforting all of us! Praise the Lord! Thanks to all of you take time to read my lengthy blogs...partly they are for me to remember all of this---so I'm always able to celebrate even the tiniest of moments--and partly to keep family and friends involved in Brenlee's and Cadence's lives. Love you all, and keep up the prayers, we appreciate them SOOOO very much!

Mobiles

Go outside and look up at the beauty in the sky. Unless your in Lamesa, TX, you'll probably see beautiful clouds, birds, airplanes and an occasional leaf flutter by. Those of you reading from West Texas, you may see clouds of swirling dirt. Sorry. Well, Brenlee and Cadence are starting to notice everything. What a blessing that we are allowed to see the beauty that God creates for us daily. Yesterday Brenlee was sitting in one of our swings and I noticed her gazing at the zoo animals on the mobile above her head. I turned it on so that it would spin and she followed it with her precious little eyes. She sat for 30 minutes just gazing and thinking...oh and I know she was thinking since she got that real serious look and put her finger to her chin! Well, today my Mom laid Cadence in that same swing as she had to leave and go to work. I turned on some white noise so that they would go to sleep. After 15 minutes, Cadence was still just gazing around the room, so I turned the mobile on. Immediately it caught her eyes! She sat amused for several minutes captivated by the new vision she's been given!
 I'm so very thankful that both girls have been blessed with eyes that work! :)
On another note, Cadence is already starting to laugh! She laughed with Bruce one time last week and I really thought it was just a coincidence that she happened to make a noise that sounded remotely like a laugh while she was smiling-since she wasn't even 5 weeks old.....or adjusted age of 2 weeks old since she was born early! Well, Lolli was holding her last night after her bath, which by the way-she enjoyed, and she nodding off to sleep. She had a full-blown grin from ear-2-ear and she was laughing. Grant it, it wasn't a loud laugh, but it WAS definitely laughing! Brenlee will smile occasionally when we're talking crazy or making silly sounds; she'll start breathing harder, too. It's reassuring to see those smiles and my heart melts every time! Well, better go for now....the shower is calling my name!

What you thought you wouldn't do....

"I'll never do that!" Yeah, right! While I was pregnant, I read alot of information, mostly from public forums. Much of the information was not medical advice and as I read *thur* the posts, I'd think, wow, I'll never do that! Well, now that motherhood has officially hit me, I find myself doing whatever it takes to make these girls happy! I mean, how can feeding Karo Syrup to an infant be good? Well, it's good when they make a poop after sucking down a tablespoon full! Watering down formula?? No, can't be right....the FDA approved it like it is---but, a little extra water sure does help the formula stay down! Fruit juice before 3 months.....no way. Well, prune juice sure helps lube things up! We've just about figured Brenlee out. She needs watered down milk, 2 ounces of prune juice a day, and Karo syrup in a few bottles each day. When getting fussy, add a teaspoon or so of Gripe Water into her formula---oh and don't forget a few Mylicon drops! Now Cadence, she's a different story. We still haven't quite figured out how to keep her poopin'! Co-Sleeping. Well, we will just leave it at that! I was just thinking over the course of this past week that as I was pregnant, I didn't account for all this. I pictured me at home with two sweet babies, just smiling, cooing, pooping, singing, bathing, dressing up.....hah! It's more like: crying, screaming, bicycling legs, qtips up butt, glycerin suppositories, constantly cleaning up spit up, and a few minutes of eye gazing, smiling and sleeping! Things are changing daily, for the better, so I do look forward to the future. Here are the things from the past that I wouldn't trade for anything, though: the feeling I get in my chest when I am holding Brenlee and Cadence to my chest; it's an immense feeling of satisfaction, unconditional love and sacrifice. I love the sound that Cadence makes when she's eating, too. It's a little gulping sound that will always be music to my ears. The squeaking dinosaur noise that Brenlee makes when she is stretching. She throws her head back, arches her back and sticks her butt out-it's too cute to really describe! Both girls are very appreciative when I'm feeding them, too. They will gaze into my eyes for several minutes and I know that they are enjoying it just as much as I am! One last thing that I wouldn't trade for anything are the relationships that have been established with family and friends. I've thoroughly enjoyed the time I've spent with my Aunt Janna. I've spent more time with her since the twins were born than I have in the past 28 years. My cousin Kristi and her girls have also came over for a few nights and will be back! (I HOPE) Bruce got to spend a week here helping with the girls, too. He changed diapers like a champ, became a bottle making Scientist and we can't forget that he kept my cup full of water or tea the whole time he was here! Randi is great help, too :) She comes over every Tuesday and Thursday for the afternoon before class and I always look forward to that time. And, my Mom. I love her more than I ever thought a daughter could love. She's the best grandma, Lolli, that any kid could have. She's the least selfish person that I've ever encountered. She's given up many hours of sleep to care for the twins. She does this not because she feels like she has to or because she doesn't think we can do it, but because she loves these girls with all her heart. It's written all over her face, all over her heart. She's so patient, kind and loving. I'm privileged to see her interact with Brenlee and Cadence and learn from her. There are just some things that Momma knows best! I look forward to spending more time with other family members, as well. In May, Brent will be leaving town for an entire week. I've asked Connie to come stay with me. I'm very excited about that time, and hope that she'll be able to come! :) So, Randi, Dawn, Daddy, and everyone else that wanted me to write another blog, here it is! I COULD'VE been sleeping or watching Desperate Housewives.....but I love you all so much that I did this instead ;)
Until next time, hasta la vista! (Due to time constraints, I didn't proof read this...hope it makes sence!)

One Month Old!

Everyone says that time flies. Well, almost everyone. School-aged kids, and I was one of them, seem to think that they are stuck in a time warp. I've now decided that it IS true-time not only flies, it leaves a sonic boom ringing in our ears. The girls are no a month old! They were born almost a month before their due date, so now we're starting to see what most newborns do on a daily basis. It's so much different! They actually suck a bottle, yeah, they eat without forgetting how to each and every time! We've had some really hard days and nights in the past month for sure. My dad, Connie and Nanny Fran came one weekend and they will vouch for me that twins are hard to handle-much different than caring for one! We've tried 3 different formulas and breast milk so far, trying to get their tummies settled. My milk never came in, so I lasted a week and a half attempting to breast feed. This was a HUGE disappointment for me :( I did enjoy the time I had bonding with Brenlee and Cadence while I nursed. After we figured out that it was a losing battle for me to nurse, we decided to try out Similac Advance--which we had already been supplimenting with. (Cadence was fed Similac Neosure in the NICU for her stay.) They seemed to be doing well on it, but then they wound up constipated. Like BIG TIME! We then were advised to start them on Enfamil GentleEase for gas and fussiness. Well, Brenlee had more fun blowing bubbles with it and Cadence choked on it like we were feeding her toilet water. So, this wouldn't work! We then went back to a Similac product, since we knew they'd like the taste. We are still using Similac Senstive--both girls seem to like it. Problem, they are still constipated! I feel like a Scientist when making their bottles now. A bit of extra water, a tad of gripe water, some prune juice added to the formula--we're trying to get the "just right" mixture to keep their tummies settled! Bruce, Brent's dad, has been here to help us with this hiccup. Oh, and speaking of hiccups; they get them far too often! It irritats them so bad, too! My good friend Nanechka showed us some tricks to try to get them to go away--many times they work, so we're thankful for that! Well, I hear someone starting to "whimper" in their swing...and I hear grunts. The grunts usually come from Brenlee, while Cadence has the sweet little whimpers...time for another feeding :)

Twas the Night Before Labor

It's time! January 28th, 2011, 8:15 pm. After a few days of experimenting with labor inducing tactics, it happened. My water broke! It started on Wednesday when we went to Wing Stop to eat Spicy foods. Our friend Marty believes that spicy hotwings will induce labor, seeing as two of her friends went in to labor shortly after eating them! Well, I didn't fit the bill and ended up with a severe case of heartburn. Thursday I had an appointment with my OB to see if anything had changed. Well, it hadn't. I was still a mere 1 cm dilated, but pretty effaced, my OB set up my induction for Wednesday, February 2nd @ 5:00am. I was a bit disappointed, but what could I do? On Thursday night, Brent and I went to El Fenix and had some Mexican food, again something spicy! Randi and I decided that on Friday after she got off work that we'd go get a pedicure. Not only did I feel that I deserved it, but I hadn't touched my toes since the beginning of November! Oh, and, again, many people had told me that a pedicure could induce labor! Friday morning came and I awoke feeling awesome. I felt so great that I even shaved my legs---and for those of you who have been there and done that, know that shaving is quite a feat with a big ol' belly! I put on my favorite maternity dress and wondered why I was feeling so good! My mom shared with me that she felt super great right before she went in to labor, so I hoped this was it for me, as well!  

Around 2:00, Randi and I went to get a pedicure. I thoroughly enjoyed the massage chair. As I sat there, I started to have more contractions. They weren't painful, they weren't regular, but I had about 6 within the hour! I shrugged them off, since I'd been having those Braxton Hicks for the past few weeks anyhow. Randi came home with me and stayed the afternoon, just in case these babies should decide they were ready to come out! When Brent got home, we decided to go for a nice, long walk. So, in my cute dress and tennis shoes, we went. I just about over-did it! My hips and lower back started aching pretty badly and I got a cramp in my thigh just as we walked into our drive way. I spent the next few hours resting and surprised about how out of whack I was feeling! Brent and Randi decided that Subway sandwiches sounded good to eat for supper, so they went and picked some up. I took a short nap while they were out. We sat and watched Kitchen Nightmares while we ate of wiches. I scarfed down all of mine, which was also unusual at that point! Randi decided that she'd better get home, it was getting late. She jokingly said, "See you tomorrow, unless those babies decided to come tonight!" Little did she know, she was correct! It wasn't 5 minutes after she left that I felt a gush of fluid. I seriously contemplated whether or not I had peed myself! When the same thing happened a few minutes later, I knew something was up! I paged my OB. Brent started rummaging around the house, getting everything ready for our hospital stay. I called Randi, who turned around and headed back to our house. Brent made the bed, cleaned the kitchen, swept the floor and packed his bag all within 15 minutes! Dr. Dias called back within 20 minutes and said I should head to the hospital, that more than likely my water had broke! I remember telling Brent that this is not at all what I had expected. He, too, said that he never imagined it going down like this! By 9:00 we had arrived at the hospital. I couldn't believe it. It was time. My life was changing. Changing for the best. This is when the Holy Spirit took over and a feeling of calm came over me.

I was still only about 1-2 cm dilated, so and IV was started and I was pumped full of Pitocin. I was also being shot up with Antibiotics since I'm a carrier of Strep B. Here is a video that was taken at 3:00am that night. My progression was very slow, but that gave all of our out of town family time to get to Arlington. The most painful part of this stage, for me, was the contraction monitor. It hurt far worse than the contractions themselves! The contractions started to get worse, so I opted for and Epidural. The anesthesiologist had to stab my back with his needle to insert the catheter 6 times before he hit the right spot. Ouch! 12 hours had passed and finally, it was time. At 10:00 am, January 29th, I was being wheeled down to the OR!

My heart was racing. I was nervous, scared, excited, impatient.....a feeling I really can't put into words.

And So It Begins

Today is January 24, 2011. Unbelievable. On June 11th at 5:30 am I took a pregnancy test from the Family Dollar. I swore I saw a very faint pink line, Brent couldn’t really see it. *This is probably because he was still asleep in bed when I shoved the test in his face to get a second opinion.* I had a more reliable test under the sink, but of course, I didn’t need to pee anymore….so I waited for 6 hours and took the second one. It was definately positive, especially when I took it outside!

I sent this picture to Brent and he quickly texted back that he, too, could see two lines! I was still ecstatic, so I sent the picture to Randi, who also saw two lines. I didn’t tell anyone else. Being beside myself all day, I cleaned out from underneath our bathroom sink, only to find one digital test. I swore to myself that I’d wait to use it Saturday morning. I was able to hold out! I didn’t say I’d wait until a decent hour Saturday morning, though! So, at 4:30am Saturday morning, I peed on it. Brent stood with me in the bathroom. The directions stated that it could take up to 3 minutes. We watched the hour glass on the test turn over a few times and after about 20 seconds the word “Pregnant” popped up! I cried. Brent wouldn’t let me go. *This is probably because he was crying, too.* We decided NOT to wait to tell our close family. We knew that the more prayers that were being said, the better. We drove over to Crowley and told my Mom. She cried. Randi cried. I cried some more. From my figuring, I would have the baby on or around Momma’s birthday. *Momma had been teasing me about this all month.* Brent’s mom, Marie, was coming to town that same day. She would be at our house by 10:00am. We barely made it back before she showed up. We got to share our good news with her, as well. I called my dad, Brent called his dad. There were lots of tears that day! After all the excitement, I started to have some spotting. I was so scared. Words can’t explain. I was obsessed for the next few hours with going to the bathroom to see if it had stopped. It never did. At 5:00 pm that day, we were going to Waxahachie to throw our friend, Marty, a birthday party. I called my Nanny Fran and told her that I’d gotten a positive test, but that I was bleeding some. She prayed with me over the phone and that helped some. I *tried* to enjoy the party and and just have faith that God’s plan would prevail. I continued to have spotting on and off through July 4th. I hounded my doctors and nurses the entire time. I went in to the lab on June 22, 29 and July 6 for blood drawals. The nurse would give me the news that my HCG count was going up very quickly and that my progesterone levels were normal. *Oh, I had self diagnosed myself with low progesterone. My doctor did a 21 day test back in January, and sure enough, my blood work showed the same. I then was having to keep up with my ovulation and take progersterone suppositories as soon after I ovulated. I would remain on the suppliment until the 13th week of pregnancy if I concieved. So, I’d been taking the meds since May 31st.* Even with the progesterone suppositories, my progesterone levels steadily declined. By the time I had it check on July 6th, it had dropped, but the nurse still wasn’t concerned. The placenta takes over the making of progesterone around the 12th week of pregnancy, so I just had a few more weeks to go. After bugging the doctors about my levels, all the spotting and the miscarriage I had the year prior, I talked them into doing an early sonogram. Usually they woudn’t do one until a patient was 12+ weeks pregnant. I was a mere 8 weeks. On July 13th, I went in for the sonogram, the sonographer found, not one, but two healthy heartbeats. I was elated, shocked, thankful, scared and a huge ball of emotions! Brent was, too. It was so much fun calling our parents to let them know! I’ve never heard my dad so happy. Nanny Fran said that he was sitting in the floor at her new apartment putting together a shelf. She said that in one movement, he was up on his feet! My dad, the human spring board! My mom didn’t even catch that we were saying “they” have great heartbeats. When she finally did, she got so so excited. Marie thought we were joking. Bruce said that we deserve it and that God is good! Our friends, Marty and Alex, were overjoyed, as well. After the sonogram, I didn’t have one more episode of spotting. I started to get really bad morning sickness. It had started June 30th, but continued all the way through the month of September. It got extreme during August, which was no fun since I had to go back to work. The trashcan became a close friend of mine. Around that time, my OB decided that it would be best for me to see a Perinatologist for the anatomy scan for the twins. He thought that the twins were identical, but was hoping that a specialist could tell more. The Peri would be able to do a level 2 sonogram to check for any anomolies, too. So, it was set. September 16th was going to be the big day. I was excited to find out genders, excited to see them on the big screen showing off a healthy heart. I was also frightened, what if there was an “anomoly?” The next few days drug on forever……*Keep the Faith, I kept reminding myself.*

The day finally came and Brent and I were off to Dr. Goldaber for our big sonogram. It was quick to see that we were going to be parents to twin girls! I couldn’t be more excited! It was also quick to see that Baby B only had a Single Umbilical Artery (SUA). A “normal” umbilical cord has 2 vessels and one vein. Baby B had one vessel and one vein within her cord. Everything else on her tiny little body looked great, so the doctor said we shouldn’t worry too much about it, but that it would need to be closely monitored. The biggest issue with SUA is lower birth weight and preterm labor, which is also an “issue” with twins in the first place. Once again, I had to remind myself to KEEP THE FAITH!

I had appointments every other week from that point forward with Dr. Goldaber. I also kept seeing Dr. Kromback (OB) every month. At every appointment, everything always went “exceptional” according to both doctors. Starting on December 21st, I had to start seeing Dr. Goldaber for a sonogram every week to check on Baby B’s umbilical cord. I would also start seeing Dr. Dias every other week. *Dr. Krombach was moving to another practice starting in 2011, so I had to switch OB’s.* Everything was still great! Dr. Goldaber figured that I’d deliver the twins early January. Dr. Dias said that we’d need to induce the first week of February. For my girls sake, I went with what Dr. Dias said! Here I am…..January 24th, 2011. I’ve been pregnant for almost 37 weeks. The countdown has begun. In 8 more days, I will go to Arlington Memorial Hospital to be induced; unless, of course, the girls decide to choose their own birthdays! I’d be perfectly happy with that, too! Last week, the girls estimated weights were: Baby A, 5 pounds 13 ounces and Baby B, 5 pounds 4 ounces. For now, I’m getting a bit miserable. *Got almost 12 lbs of baby in my body!* I try to remain positive, but by evening, it’s sure hard! I know God will get me through it and it does help having Brent as a husband, whom also makes my life 100% better! Hopefully by the next blog, I’ll be blogging about our birth story!