Yes, It HAS Been Forever!

I'm so tired. So exhausted. Brent cut his finger back in December....with his pocket knife. Careless accident. Long story short, he never healed right and he was not able to use his finger. Well, finally, months later, he decided to go have it operated on. Well, that's been 3 weeks ago. He's still splinted up and told not to use his entire hand until they give him the go ahead. He goes to physical therapy and is still on meds that will help him keep from developing an infection. Changing every single diaper, bathing, drying, dressing, putting shoes on, cooking for, cleaning up after.....two toddlers for 12+ hours a day.....and battling naps and bedtimes......I'm beat. Beat. I'll be so darn glad when he can help me again.....even if it is for only 3 hours a day.

Dreams

I love dreams. I have them frequently, when I sleep, ahem, when the girls allow me to sleep for long stretches. Last night I dreamed that an old friend, Courtney, was getting married....last time I dreamed that, she was indeed getting married and had a precious baby boy soon after---so Court, are you pregnant again?!? Anyhow, it was such a FUN dream. Lots of old friends, like Tanner, Natali, Lilly, Toby, Alex, Kaylee, Brooklynn,  Mo, Chase, Jesika and Jase were in there....along with Brenlee and Cadence. It was loads of fun having all the kids together and watching Courtney get married, sorta Grand Ol' Opry Style! Last night I had three dreams. I don't remember if they were all related, but the part I most vividly remember was opening a gift that was from Kayleigh. Kayleigh is the name that I had picked out if our first baby (that I miscarried) would have been a girl. It was a soft blanket. I remember hugging the blanket and it felt so soft and smelled so sweet. I'm praying LOTS more lately, and I take it that this dream was reassurance that she's up in heaven and smiling down on us, as comfortable as can be. I'm so fortunate to have her to look forward to meeting one day. Thank you, Jesus! 

Time for Change....

Hi everyone! It feels like it's been an eternity since I last posted! I made a commitment to myself to spend LESS time online and MORE time playing with Brenlee and Cadence. It's the BEST decision ever for me, but unfortunately, not for those of you out of towners who log on daily/hourly to see updates on the girls. I'm reading the book, Live a Thousand Years by Giovanni Livera. It's taking me a while to read it, as I am living it...and I can only change so much at any given moment! Here are the things I've taken from the book so far:
1. Your time is NOW. Don't dwell on the past and don't worry a whole lot about tomorrow.

2. I must take care of myself physically, spiritually, and mentally----The longer I live, the more opportunities I have to gain experience. I am changing my thoughts of feeling like I "have" to do things, to I "get" to do things. Everything I do is worth enjoying.

3. No matter where I am in my life, I have two options. The negative one and the positive one and once I start making positive choices with a positive attitude, this life journey becomes easier. This even reads true to feeding time with the girls!!!! (Which was not fun at all about a  month ago!) 

4. I can share my Treasures, my Talent and my Time. I can measure success by what I give rather than what I have. 

5. With strong Faith in God, all of my relationships with grow. I've always felt that all things happen for a reason and now I'm understanding that  the people we let into our lives become a part of us, they make us who we are. Livera writes, "Four relationships to cherish and kindle are you creator, your family, your friends, and your fellow man." So, I'm going to invest time into relationships that are important to me.

I'm about half way through the book.....and my dad couldn't have gifted this book to me at any better time.....refer back to the 5th lesson learned.....it came into my life at just the right moment for a reason! 

As most of my close family and friends know, it has been very challenging the past year. There have been days that I just want to give up and send my girls to daycare and go back to work. Work was much easier. Along with financial stress of dropping my income and adding the expense of two babies, I've come very, very close. About a month ago, before I started reading this book,  I started applying for jobs. Teaching, daycare positions, work-from-home jobs, etc. I've been crunching numbers and freaking out about going in the hole financially. Then it hit me. I will NEVER get this time back. EVER. Once it's gone, it's gone. The girls are growing up at an exponential rate and will start Kindergarten in just 4 more years. If we opt for Pre-Kindergarten, then I just have 3 more precious years with them at home with me. I will do what I have to do and everything does happen for a reason. It won't kill me to put the girls into a day program and go back to work and if that's what God has planned, I'll go at it with a positive attitude....but so far, no door has been opened up in the realm of a job for me. So, I'm feeling comforted knowing that He will provide for our family as long as I accept and trust Him. 

Refer back to the 5th thing I learned, again. Brent started a new job back in August 2011.  Well, one of his close coworkers invited us to go to his church this weekend. We've been looking for a home church for a long time now. We had just decided to go back to a church that we attended when we first moved to Irving, although we didn't just love the pastor when we were attending. Remember how people are put into your life at just the right time? I'm looking forward to it, it's on Saturday evening. They provide Nursery care/School for Brenlee and Cadence, as well. It'll be their 1st time being in the hands of complete strangers without Momma or Daddy around. Yes, I'm a bit nervous, and please pray with me that it goes smoothly. They will get to sing, dance, praise and worship, play instruments, do bible lessons, and make new friends while Brent and I get to draw closer to God together though sermons. 

The girls will be waking soon from their morning nap, and the house is still a HUGE mess....it's an obstacle course of pillow pets, blocks, books and other random toys that they love to string though out the hallway! BUT I sure ain't gonna clean while they're awake, as that'd be a WASTE of precious time! Bahaha......ya'll know I hate cleaning, so this book gives me a reason not to feel so guilty about a messy house! Oh, and the Banana Nut/ Blueberry Bread I'm baking is smelling done!

Stay tuned for more blogs about the work God does in our lives!

Question for you:
How do you make the most of your time???

Dear Sylvia Brown Wanna-be.........

You need not offer unsolicited advice to Walmart Customers. Your frazzled hair and knit pants make you out to be a Quack. If I really wanted to know your opinion about the future health of my twins, I would have asked you.  You mentioned that you used to be a 1st grade school teacher--and I'm glad that was in PAST tense....those babies don't need people like you in their precious lives. I look at horoscopes and astrology as entertainment, maybe once or twice a year. I don't need a lesson on it. Oh, and if my baby girls are chewing on the cart while I'm busy, I see it as building immunity and dislike you telling me that she shouldn't do that. And Brenlee's "B, U, M, P" will disappear and she will not have to have surgery when she is 4, my cousin Amy had one.....HAD one. HAD one...yes, once again, past tense. That is all.
Sincerely,
Brenlee and Cadence's Momma

What a TRIP!

For the past 14 months we planned on going to Jennings, LA for Thanksgiving. It started to become somewhat of a tradition before we had the twins and we want to keep fostering it. The Cajuns do Thanksgiving a little different.....including Rice Dressing. We enjoy all the different foods when we visit. Last year, I didn't feel safe traveling far from my hospital since I was BIG and pregnant, so we missed it. This year, we envisioned the twins be-bopping around Aunt Darla and Uncle Boyd's house all year long. Well, right before the trip, I got a horrid kidney/bladder/yeast infection. The doctors prescribed me one antibiotic that was later discontinued since the culture that was sent off to the labs proved that the bacteria I was harvesting was resistant to it. My back ached, my head throbbed, my bladder burned and I certainly didn't feel up for a 7 hour drive. Tuesday rolled around and I canceled our plans, as bad as I hated to. There was just NO way I could get there AND take care of little ones on the way. Well, if you know those people, you know that they pray. If you know me, you know I do, too. We did lots of praying and hoping and wishing....and low and behold, I woke up Wednesday morning feeling LOADS better. By noon, I felt almost like myself again. Brent got off work early and I talked him into letting us go, even though we'd already canceled. We got everything packed and ready within an hour and left! The trip there was awesome. Brenlee and Cadence giggled and played around in the back seat before drifting off to sleep. I enjoyed reading "I'll Be There" by Deborah Grace Staley and enjoyed every single minute of it. The weather was delightful and the road was just bumpy enough to keep the girls sleeping for the majority of the drive. We arrived in Jennings at 10pm. Darla and Boyd and Brad are some of the most hospitable people I have ever met. Somehow they make their home feel like our home. They're just naturals. The twins slept like logs every night and slumbered away hours for naps, as well. It was a blessing for Brenlee and Cadence to visit with their cousins, too. Bradly, Breiana, Ashton, and our "cousins" Daidyn, Dustin and Dylan Mallet. The Mallets are great friends of the Becks there in Jennings and we're happy to call them "family." I captured some videos of the all the kids playing together, but even those will not show the essence of the love that filled the air. Some of my favorite moments were:  

• Watching Bradlyn chase Cadence around and through the hallway saying, "I'm gonna getchoooo!"  She has a raspy/sultry voice and such a sweet southern accent. When she smiles, she has dimples that adorn her smile. Who wouldn't LOVE to be chased around by her??
• Coloring with Breiana. This is almost always a highlight of my time in Jennings. I miss coloring. Soon enough, I know, I'll have the opportunity to color with the twins.
• Getting neck rubs by Ashton. He may be just a small boy, but he can give one heck of a neck massage! He has such a sweet and tender side under that facade he usually portrays. 
• Sitting around the dinner table eating and talking with Darla, Boyd, Brad and Brent. They reminisced and told stories and the part I love most about this is that I've been around long enough to have stories :) 
• Going to their Snow Cone stand. If you could capture the smell that you smell when you walk into it, I'd buy it. Just something happy about the sound of ice grinding and watching the sweet "ambrosia" syrup poured over it.......yummy! I still stuck with my usual, Strawberry Cheesecake with Cream. 

I could list many more things that were just perfect, I guess I'll save that for another blog! We stayed in Louisiana for a mere 2.5 days and 3 nights and made memories that will last a life time. I didn't look forward to coming home, just yet. I love our home away from home in Jennings and look forward to next year already! Now that this big celebration is over, it's time to start planning the next one. CHRISTMAS!! We will be staying home this year, for sure. December is full of festivities, smells, sounds and the splendor of Christ and it's so special. The girls 1st Christmas. What blessings we have in store, O God, I am thankful. Well, time for bed....actually past time.....I hope you and yours had a wonderful Thanksgiving!!!

A Past Due Letter-

Dear Cadence,
Baby girl, you are growing up so fast. Just 9 months ago all you did was eat and sleep.....and cry. Now, you are standing on your own two feet, walking and babbling. You are very strong physically. You decided to start crawling right before you turned 6 months old. You did what we called the "Walrus." You would get up on all fours and lunge yourself forward and do a belly flop. It got you where you wanted to go and that's all that mattered to you! It also made an interesting afternoon for those around watching you.  After watching your sister, Brenlee, do a standard crawl, you decided to change your style. The day before you turned 9 months old, you took your first steps. Now, at 9 1/2 months old, you are zipping across rooms, zooming down the hall and doing pivots! You amaze me little one! You are starting to express yourself with sounds, too. Sha, sha, sha, ta, ta, ta, ma,ma,ma, bwa, bwa, bwa, and da,da,da are your favorite things to say. I love how you play with your fingers as you are walking and the jibber jabber you mumble to yourself while on the go. You are very smart and stay ahead of the game in all you do. You are strong and God has given you the gift of determination and perserverance; it shows even at the tender age of 9 months. One of my favorite things to do with you is snuggle in bed. You wake up before Brenlee a lot of the time and I enjoy our one on one time. You give slobbery, affectionate, open-mouthed kisses and smile as big as you can when I kiss you back. One of your favorite things to do is swing by your arms. You squeal with delight at the first thought of flying through the air! Many times you get the whole family laughing during your episodes of hysteria, your laughter is contagious.  I'm very blessed that the Lord trusts me with you. It's an honor to be your momma. I Love you my baby Cade......love you with all my heart and soul.

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They belong to the Kingdom.

Jesus said, "Don't stop children from coming to me! Children like these are part of the kingdom of God."-Matthew 19:14

Thank you, Jesus, for allowing me to love and care for two of your greatest miracles unconditionally.